Whether or not you’re christian and  celebrate christmas or not, this time of year is synonymous with gift giving.

We give gifts to:

  • Our children
  • Our husbands, wives, partners or significant people in our lives
  • Our parents
  • Our extended family
  • Our neighbors
  • Our friends

But in many ways… I think we forget the most important person.


Thats right…. ourselves.

That might seem like a crazy statement, and inherently selfish.. but it isn’t.

I’m not  talking about money – I’m not saying that we can excuse reckless spending by saying ‘I’m giving a gift to myself’…

I’m talking about a gift that costs nothing.

I’m talking about the gift of time and focus.

I think at this time of year, when it comes to christmas the best gift we can give ourselves is the gift of a few minutes or up to an hour or controlled focus time, thinking about positive things.

Time for ourselves.

Time to think.

Time to sit and contemplate.

Time to focus on the good things that have happened, and the good that we expect to happen in the coming year.

I’ve never been a fan of the word ‘meditation’ – but I do like to take time to really stop and think, and take time to control my focus with conscious questions. Some people call that meditation, some people call it contemplation, some just call it thinking.

Find yourself a happy place that works for you. Everybody is different. Some people have a special place in their home, or in their garden for contemplation. Some people have particular places that they walk to.

For me, its the beach. I love walking on the beach early in the morning.

But…what do you DO with that time? just walk?

The trick is to control what your mind is focusing on during that time.

The way you control what your mind is focusing on is prompt yourself with questions. Questions are a prime way to control your focus and direct yourself to a positive way of thinking.

Thinking is nothing but the process of asking and answering questions. If you consciously choose the questions you ask, then you direct your focus somewhere positive.

Here are just a sample of the morning questions I use:


I’ll be talking more about the power of questions to control your focus during our upcoming training session called Be Your Best 2015. In one of these sessions we’ll even be doing an exercise of creating your own power questions for the morning and the evening, so you’ll be able to learn to consciously direct your own focus each and every day.

Doing this might seem like its just ‘positive thinking nonsense’… but the thing is this:

You’re asking yourself questions all day, every day anyway.

You can choose: you can either direct which ones you ask, or not.

If you don’t do this, then in regular, everyday thinking time its likely you are asking yourself BAD questions like this:

“Why does this always happen to me?”
“How can I pay my lousy bills?”
“Why does this person treat me so badly?”

These questions are going to do nothing but make you feel BAD… so give yourself the gift of making yourself feel GOOD, by directing your focus with good questions.

So… if you do nothing else this holiday season –  give yourself this gift.

Take a few minutes right now and write down five personal questions.

You can make them anything you like, but try to make one of them this one:

What am I grateful for?

One common thing I find in just about every personal development program or book I’ve ever read is the advice to tap into the power of gratitude.

Here are just two quotes which capture this important message:

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
Charles Dickens

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Oprah Winfrey

So do your homework now: write those five questions, and then go for a walk and consciously think about and answer those questions in your mind.

Give yourself this gift this Christmas, Hanukkah, new year or whatever holiday you celebrate… and once you’ve done it.. give the same gift to someone else, by sharing this article with them.

Blessings to you,


Creative Director,
The Fun Music Company
Presenter of BeYourBest2016